A Whole New World

Well it’s been a few months since my last post, which was full of all sorts of crossroads. I am unfortunately back writing to you in the same exact place I was. However, I now have an MBA, which is slightly more exciting.

I was extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to be a graduate assistant to a statistics professor over the last few months, who generously offered me a position at his data analytics company. I get to work from home, and on projects that require a lot of thinking and time. Especially because I don’t exactly know what I am doing. I mean I am saving a lot of money by living and working at home, however there are A LOT of downsides.

I know…I went from talking about public relations and social media to all of a sudden doing data work…who am I? Well the answer is, I don’t really know. I went through a few personal things these past few months which had a detrimental impact on my self-esteem. Sadly, I am still suffering and trying desperately to find a cure.

I spent my whole life being creative, yet here I am working with working with numbers. I mean I am good at what I do, however, it is not what I want to be doing. It’s extremely cliche for me to say, but it doesn’t make my soul happy. I am in a rut. I don’t like who I’ve become, what I look like, or what I am doing.

In my last post I mentioned I thrive off being stressed and planning, however in this job I don’t have things to plan. I lay in bed all day receiving a call every once in a while to complete work. I have nothing pushing me to be better. I have lost all motivation when it comes to establishing a successful future, and it frustrates me.

I am so aware of what I am becoming and the different ways to fix it, however my anxiety that I have also mentioned is becoming worse, in the sense that I am becoming unrecognizably okay with being lazy with my daily routine, eating habits, and basically everything else.

I have this voice in my head that constantly tells me to do something creative, yet my inspirations for doing so seem to be dwindling.

I have come up with some game plans to get my life on track, however, it is going to take a lot of personal strength from within to get me where I want to be…I need to believe in what can be and push myself to get there.

I figured writing to whoever is listening as my motivation to stay on top of things. Also, that way I am not the only one exploring this new scary world!!



At a Crossroads

It is funny to think that a few years ago the idea of having a job in social media would be a dream come true. However, here we are the summer right before I complete my MBA, an online marketing/social media intern, something I thought I would excel at, yet I am bored out of my mind. I think throughout the past few years I may have underestimated my ability to handle work loads and how much I crave a healthy amount of stress.

I started off the summer very strong. I was working for a high-end engagement ring company, running all their social media accounts, and strategyzing on new marketing plans. One month later, I am sitting at a computer writing this post at 11AM because I have completed all the work I was assigned within the first thirty minutes of arriving. I desperately try to reach out and ask for more work, yet most of the time I am either let down with an “I will let you know as soon as I get something,” or the dreadful response of “Just keep doing the busy work.”

This is not who I am, nor who I want to be. I have handled A LOT throughout the past few years. From family problems, friend drama, an absurd amount of school work, severe anxiety, a school club, and a lot more that will probably come out some time in the future. My point being, I have adapted to handling anything and everything when it is given to me, even if I don’t think I have the strength to do so.

I don’t think I went a week in school where I did not have an anxiety attack due to stress, which made me think maybe I need to relax. So, I relaxed, and the anxiety still hovered. It was like a cold I couldn’t shake. So I persevered, I learned that even though I would be stressed, occupying myself with endless work, and projects is what I needed.

I strengthened my ability to do anything I set my mind to, even if I was terrified out of my mind. I now crave being busy, stressed, and even sometimes overwhelmed. It seems odd to say, but it gives me something to work for, something to do, something to say. When I have no work, I relax for all of ten minutes before I start pacing wondering what I can do next.

Having work also allows me to plan when this said work will get done, and I love planning. I thrive off planning. I must sound crazy saying that I crave being stressed, but also love planning at the same time. It is similar to when people say they are an organized mess, except my mess is no mess it is a little anxious feeling inside that sometimes wins, but other times it allows me to accomplish things I never thought possible for myself.

To get back to the point I started off with, I went through three and a half years of school taking classes in communications, public relations, and social media. For the most part, I loved it. I was strategic in my methods, and creative in my output. However, I have done multiple internships in the field I have studied for years and I last all of three weeks before I get bored, the learning comes to a halt and I feel stuck. I know that internships are very different from a normal job in the industry, yet here I am stressed that what I have come to know, is not something I want to pursue any longer. Figuring out what you want to do is NEVER simple, it is complicated, confusing and very disappointing at times.

I usually attempt to find the positive in every situation, yet at this moment I am finding it very difficult to determine how I can make the most of this current internship with little to no resources, or work to complete. The question that keeps echoing in my head “you only have four months until the real world becomes a reality, what are you going to do?” Embarrassingly enough sometimes I answer out loud whispering “I have absolutely no idea!”

I am hoping within the next few weeks and/or even months I find the strength to pursue something new and different, all while using the skills I have learned along the way.

Stay tuned.

New Paltz Semester Wrap Up

It is the last week of my first semester of my junior year here at SUNY New Paltz, so I thought I would write a little post summing it all up…with my favorite photos of course.

This semester has been a whirlwind of emotions. Some amazing things happened and some awfully stressful things happened as well, but that did not stop me from exploring and taking photos.

New Paltz in the Fall is one of the most beautiful sights to be seen. There is apple picking, trees that are filled with fluorescent shades of red, yellow, orange, and green; The sunsets get more beautiful every day, and who doesn’t love a random walk on the rail trail here and there for some exploring?

Overall this semester has been filled with many beautiful memories, and I got to capture them all.


This was one of the first sunsets of the semester, and it was breathtaking.


This was a cute little bridge that my friends and I came across while on a hike.


Still can’t believe I took this photo, it looks so professional..LOL. But, these are some of the gorgeous trees on campus.


Moxie Cupcakes always knows how to make people smile while walking past their shop on Main Street.

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Here are my feet along with the feet of my best friends…we were trying to be artsy while on a hayride to go apple picking.

If you like some of the pictures you see here and want to get a little more of the inside scoop to this beautiful town, then check out my friend Angel’s blog where she posts about her mini adventures: http://angelh218.tumblr.com

To learn about more cool things to do in the Hudson Valley and the surrounding area, check out this blog: https://valleyblog24.wordpress.com/about/

Canada Bound

So today I will be reminiscing on one of my mini adventures of the semester. Back in October I ventured off to the tundra that is Buffalo, NY. My little brother, okay not to little, is a freshman at the the New York State University of Buffalo, so of course I had to visit him.

While I was there I made my way to Canada. It was only 25 minutes away from his school so I could not pass up that opportunity, especially since I have never been there before. So of course I spent my entire day at Niagara Falls, because who wouldn’t want to spend four hours staring at waterfalls?

They were gorgeous, mesmerizing, and just overall soothing to look at. All of my stress disappeared for that short period of time…and I was not mad about that at all.


This is me super-duper excited to be entering Canadia (Yes, I do call it that). 

When my parents and I first drove up to bridge my face lit up, and I am not even kidding. I made my parents take pictures of every step I took because I was so excited. This country is magical…lol I am just slightly dramatic.

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Look how beautiful this rainbow is…I was in awe.

Basically what I’m saying is that I love Canada, it was gorgeous, even just the little part I was exposed to.

Oh…and it was nice to see my brother too.

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This is me all sad that I had to leave my brother after our short reunion.

Here are some reasons your next destination should be Canada: http://www.thecollegetourist.com/10-reasons-why-your-next-destination-should-be-canada/

London Town

Hey Everyone,

I’m back with another post about one of my previous adventures. In the summer of 2014 I traveled across the Atlantic to my favorite place, London, England. London has been on the top of my “places to travel” list for years, because to be honest I think I am secretly meant to be British, but don’t tell anyone. When my cousins invited me on an all girls trip across seas, there was no way I could deny returning to my secret home country. When I first got on the plane I think I went into shock, because that was the moment I realized I was actually going to London, and it was my first time on a plane, so there’s that! This magical city was just as I imagined, filled with beautiful people with beautiful accents.

Although, I am all for discovering the little things that make a city special, I was in full on tourist mode when I arrived. I took pictures of everything and even made a video of my adventure, which I may upload in another post. If I had to pick one my favorite places it would have to be Buckingham Palace, which I had the honor of touring, but sadly was not aloud to bring in my camera…what was that about? This palace was by far the most gorgeous example of interior design I have ever seen, it was magnificent. I left in awe and with the urge to buy a palace. Then, there was the British Museum, which was amazing. I am not one for museums at all, in fact, I hate them. But, the British sure know how to impress because I was so pleased with my experience. I found myself not wanting to leave, which let me tell you has NEVER happened before in a museum.

Yes, I was a complete tourist and took selfies with every amazing thing I came across, but there was one thing I knew I wanted to find. This one specific thing was a piece of Banksy graffiti art. I heard about him from a fellow brit, and because I am basically a brit I knew if I ever went to London I needed to find a piece of his work. Therefore, I took my cousins on a “treasure hunt”, little did they know the treasure was just a piece of art on the side of the building. But, to me it was amazing, it was so realistic, and so socially capturing that it automatically made me think. This specific piece was so hard to find, it was hidden on this little street, which I almost missed. But it was totally worth getting lost for, so if you are ever in the mood for a treasure hunt, go around London and look for famous Banksy pieces, you will not regret it.

The back of Buckingham Palace, because it was the only place I was allowed to take a picture.

The back of Buckingham Palace, because it was the only place I was allowed to take a picture, but it still came out pretty cool.


Banksy’s “Shop Until You Drop” on Bruton Street in Mayfair, London.

This is me, looking surprisingly very happy at the British museum.

This is me, looking surprisingly happy at the British Museum.

In case you want to learn a little bit more about London, here is a blog post written by a Marist student, who spent a semester abroad in this magnificent city: http://www.thecollegetourist.com/study-abroad-my-abroad-experience-in-london/


Hey Everyone,

This past Labor Day weekend my best friend and I decided to travel to Philadelphia on a whim and escape school…not that we had school but, you get the idea. We packed our backpacks, and departed from SUNY New Paltz for a few days in search of an adventure. At first we weren’t sure exactly what to do in Philly, but then we decided “lets not have a plan and just explore,” and that is exactly what we did. Although we had no plans, we did know that eating a Philly cheesesteak was on the top of our “not so real” list, especially since neither one of us had tried one before. The only thing I can think of to describe my first experience eating a Philly cheesesteak is that it will be my only experience. Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious while I was eating it and I understand why everyone loves them but, I do not think I can ever eat another one again. Although, somewhat disappointed with the “famous” Philly cheesesteak, I was definitely not going to let this ruin my trip. I was with my best friend, in a city I had never been to, and I wasn’t at school, so therefore I was already having a great time. We got to be complete tourists, and that was my favorite part. We tried famous restaurants, sat near fountains and people watched for hours, walked around exploring until it was nearly midnight. It was overall an amazing quick getaway. I did end the trip by getting an awful cold, which can I mention, I still have…a whole week later, but it was totally worth it! I completely 100% recommend visiting Philadelphia for a weekend if you want to get away!

My best friend and I being complete tourists at the Board Game Art Park in Philadelphia.

My best friend (left) and I (right) being complete tourists at the Board Game Art Park in Philadelphia.

My first Philly Cheesesteak from Campo's.

My first Philly Cheesesteak from Campo’s.

Although I left New Paltz for the weekend, it truly is an amazing place, here is a blog post from the International Businesses students who are experiencing New York and New Paltz for the first time: https://newpaltziibpr.wordpress.com/2015/09/14/one-school-hundreds-of-opportunities/